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Wanting your man to just "listen" and "validate" but not "offer solutions" is like taking your grocery list to the hardware store. It's like getting mad that every time you go to the Subaru dealership, they don't try to sell you a Toyota. When I want emotional insight? I talk with women, because they tend to be better at listening, validating, and helping me understand what I feel. When I want solutions? I ask men. Don't ask people for things they are innately not good at providing and then get frustrated when they can't. I don't ask my mechanic friend about my taxes, and I don't ask my tax guy about my dating life. Play to your respective strengths and you'll have a prosperous, mutually beneficial relationship. Insist the other person act exactly as you would and at best you will get someone who can do what you do, but not quite as well. The therapy industry, which is compromised almost entirely of women, and which in many cases offers the service of "validating but not solving", unsurprisingly tells women that their men should do this as well. They say that this feminine form of listening is the "right" way. And when male partners don't listen the "right" way, their female partners get frustrated, which means more listening work for the therapist. Outside of having a diagnosable reason why you should need it on an ongoing basis, therapy should be something you enroll in for a limited period of time to help you gain better insight and coping skills for navigating everyday life and difficult transitions. Yet I know many people, mostly women, who are in "forever" relationships with their therapists with no end in sight. And take a cocktail of antidepressants and anti anxiety meds as well (1 in 5 women). The antidote to anxiety is ACTION. You gain confidence by DOING and surviving and knowing you will survive the next challenge. Talking about it should be the preparatory stage, not the ultimate one. Listening without solving has its virtue, but in the long run, someone who endlessly validates you while not holding you accountable or asking why you don't eliminate a persistent stressor in your life which has obvious solutions isn't someone being helpful, it's them enabling behavior patterns that are harmful to your well being and causing you recurring stress. Real love means wanting the best for someone and asking why they don't reach for it. It's asking hard questions. It's holding them accountable. It's not enabling. Listening and validating without challenge on a recurring basis is enabling. #relationships #dating #anxiety #therapy #growth

Powerful speech on Iran from 11 years ago from now Secretary of State Marco Rubio. #politics #iran https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=_UHgUlLKAgU

🤔 Who are they texting? 🤔 Who is this friend of the opposite sex they have? 🤔 What about that one at work who they seem to be getting a little too friendly with? 🤔 Is their behavior crossing the line into "technically" cheating? Am I crazy for being worried about it? Maybe it's "micro-cheating". 💝Monogamy sells us a story that it is valuable because it quells the anxiety that our partner may leave. But all it does is push that anxiety to another place. ⏩Instead of worrying about how you compare to their other partners or options they're interacting with, you worry about whether they're cheating 🚨And if you ask them? Your relationship structure incentivizes them to lie about it, which gives you even more good reason to worry. Instead of an honest answer, which they could give in a polyamorous context, they now may act weird even if nothing weird is going on simply because they worry you're going to interpret it wrong. 🎯In polyamory, you worry your partner may leave you for a better option. In monogamy, you worry your partner may leave you for a better option and lie to you the entire time about it before they actually do. It's clear to me which of those is worse. 😎Your anxieties and insecurities are the problem, not the relationship structure. Choosing monogamy over polyamory to solve your anxieties is no more effective than insisting you can go through your partner's phone, it gives you a very temporary feeling of control but ultimately will likely only end up fueling your anxieties in the long run and doesn't solve the root issue. A partner who knows their phone gets looked through likely isn't going to let themselves get caught cheating this way, but what is likely to happen is for you to see a text your anxiety can latch onto and spiral with. 😘 Real security comes from recognizing and fighting your own anxieties and choosing partners who demonstrate security and commitment on a regular basis. It comes from being the best partner you can be so that your partner never wants to leave. People who put energy there instead of into anxiety have much happier relationships and reduce the chance of cheating in the first place. 🔐 Security also comes from acknowledging that most relationships are temporary, so we should enjoy them while we have them, and that some day we probably, statistically, will be replaced. Or at the very least, even if we stay together, the person we know now will not exist in ten years because they will have changed, loss is inevitable. #relationships #monogamy #polyamory #dating #anxiety

🤔 Who are they texting? 🤔 Who is this friend of the opposite sex they have? 🤔 What about that one at work who they seem to be getting a little too friendly with? 🤔 Is their behavior crossing the line into "technically" cheating? Am I crazy for being worried about it? Maybe it's "micro-cheating". 💝Monogamy sells us a story that it is valuable because it quells the anxiety that our partner may leave. But all it does is push that anxiety to another place. ⏩Instead of worrying about how you compare to their other partners or options they're interacting with, you worry about whether they're cheating 🚨And if you ask them? Your relationship structure incentivizes them to lie about it, which gives you even more good reason to worry. Instead of an honest answer, which they could give in a polyamorous context, they now may act weird even if nothing weird is going on simply because they worry you're going to interpret it wrong. 🎯In polyamory, you worry your partner may leave you for a better option. In monogamy, you worry your partner may leave you for a better option and lie to you the entire time about it before they actually do. It's clear to me which of those is worse. 😎Your anxieties and insecurities are the problem, not the relationship structure. Choosing monogamy over polyamory to solve your anxieties is no more effective than insisting you can go through your partner's phone, it gives you a very temporary feeling of control but ultimately will likely only end up fueling your anxieties in the long run and doesn't solve the root issue. A partner who knows their phone gets looked through likely isn't going to let themselves get caught cheating this way, but what is likely to happen is for you to see a text your anxiety can latch onto and spiral with. 😘 Real security comes from recognizing and fighting your own anxieties and choosing partners who demonstrate security and commitment on a regular basis. It comes from being the best partner you can be so that your partner never wants to leave. People who put energy there instead of into anxiety have much happier relationships and reduce the chance of cheating in the first place. 🔐 Security also comes from acknowledging that most relationships are temporary, so we should enjoy them while we have them, and that some day we probably, statistically, will be replaced. Or at the very least, even if we stay together, the person we know now will not exist in ten years because they will have changed, loss is inevitable.

For anyone on Linux who wants a good desktop #bitcoin #lightning wallet and has been frustrated that there were one, electrum just got an upgrade that makes lightning work way better than before. It was literally unusable before due to routing failures, now it at least works. Still crazy that it's the only viable option for desktop users. Though if you can run waydroid and run Zeus in it, that's still your best bet. #zeus #waydroid

Are there any decent LLMs for coding that can be run entirely local on a consumer grade GPU? #asknostr #vibecoding

I feel conflicted about voting/donating strategy in my area (US) and would appreciate some outside perspective. One party here is absolutely dominant, regularly winning with 70%+ of the vote and one or nobody running against them. They occasionally have completive primaries. I am currently registered with this party so I can vote in their primaries since the primaries essentially determine the outcome of general elections. I don't like the other big party here either. They don't have competitive primaries at all, and whoever wins the primary has no chance of winning in the generals. There is a third party I like a lot more, but has the same problems to an even greater degree. I feel most aligned with this party, both of the two major parties feel pretty equally aligned/misaligned with this party. I would register with this third party, but doing so would prevent me from voting in the primary for the dominant party. I have no desire to donate to the main political party or the second, but donating to the third feels like pissing in the wind. I could see donating to primary candidates or maybe it makes more sense just to donate to causes/PACs around specific issues instead of candidates. Which primary would you vote to participate in? How would you vote in the generals and how would you decide who to donate to? Give me your perspective #asknostr

Someone help a dev out please 🥺 🥺 📝 dacf5579…

One great feature of nostr is being able to see an interesting post and boost it only to then click over to that persons profile and find out they are an absolutely unhinged lunatic. You wonder how you ever agreed with anything they ever said. No other platform makes you question your sanity quite like this one. Is this a good thing? I have no idea and even if I did, I'd doubt if that idea was correct. Have you experienced this? What do you think? #asknostr

2026 is the year of #Bitcoin merchant adoption. My city's merchant map on BTC map has gone from zero to doubling in density every month or so, we have three separate hairdressers that take BTC now. And unlike last time BTC got a bunch of merchant adoption, we have lightning now, so it's not going to suddenly stop because of high fees or long payment delays. Future is now. Big love to BTC Maps and square for pushing to make this so seamless for merchants.

Best ways to find online merchants that take #Bitcoin and search their inventory? Spendabit.co works but doesn't seem to have much. What do you use? #asknostr

"Child safety" has always been one of the four horsemen of the erosion of civil liberties, but this is getting ridiculous. We now have a government-run pedophile ring so expansive that prosecuting the people involved would potentially collapse our entire government, and at the same time, we have California passing a law requiring your operating system (Android, Linux, Windows, whatever) to verify your age and provide that information to apps installed on your own devices. The irony here is that the developer of the world's second most popular operating system (Bill Gates) is implicated in all this too as a customer of Epstein's. As are execs at other major tech companies. Their rationale for this bill is of course "to protect children". This is absolute tyrannical bullshit that will do nothing to increase the safety of children but grinds the gears forward to the total elimination of free, private speech. If anything, laws like this will make it easier for children to be targeted for abuse. You shouldn't need to provide an ID to use your own computer or access the internet. The internet is the single greatest tool for human speech, communication, and democracy since the advent of the printing press, and we cannot let them rip it away from us or gate it behind ID checks. Gavin Newsom, who is considered a presidential frontrunner for dems in the next presidential election, signed this into law. There is zero chance I am voting for him after passing this bill. https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2025/12/year-states-chose-s… #Newsom #politics #democrats

Anyone? 📝 dacf5579…

A friend of mine runs a gun store, is there any US Bitcoin exchange that will let him open an account for his business? #asknostr #bitcoin #2a

How is port forwarding typically handled by mobile lightning clients? I seem to be missing something. I have a mobile self custody lightning wallet like Zeus, I generate a QR code with my pubkey. Someone scan this QR code, connects to my node, and makes payment. But how did they connect to my node if my node is behind a NAT and doesn't have that port forwarded? #asknostr #bitcoin

I will die on the hill that Bitcoin continues to miss a MAJOR opportunity with having lower programmability. Having sovereign money is cool, having sovereign money you can program is even cooler. Eth was only allowed to grow and flourish because Bitcoin didn't have these features. We now have BitVM and other solutions but I don't see anybody building on them, and I'm not sure why. And now BIP110 crowd seems adamant about closing the hay doir. It's a shame, there is no reason Bitcoin shouldn't be the L1 for everything. Money isn't just money. Money is also loans, money is also group decision-making about how to spend money. That requires programmability. Eth is centralizing garbage, we obviously can't store full smart contracts on chain, but they should be pinnable to base chain and should be able to use BTC natively. We also wouldn't be having this debate about "spam" if main chain was full of transactions from useful smart contracts, Eth currently gets those fees instead. #bitcoin 📝 f597df2b…

It's not red vs blue it's the system vs you

How does the official torrent for Bitcoin core only have... *checks notes*.. 50 seeders?

Got my tetanus shot today 💪 so if y'all were planning on killing me w tetanus y'all gonna have to go back to the drawing board

After spending a half dozen hours researching BIP-110, I still don't have any strong opinions. What I mainly learned is that many people in the Bitcoin space who I previously looked up to will turn into children the second someone disagrees with them, which is really unfortunate. We can do better. There's good discussions to be had here on technical and philosophical merit, but 90% of what I see is character assassination, name calling, and strawmans.