John Satsman

I guess that’s the problem with companies. Everyone wants to do everything legal and I just want an experience that is akin to the experience ahem…some people, had on the silk road/The armory Fuck the regulators, fuck the feds, just do things. #YouNeverKnowWhatYouGotTillItsGone 📝 827d4cf5…

Figured I’d try @vexl but I don’t keep contacts on my devices because I don’t have a phone number, as @ODELL talked about on their podcast… I guess I’ll wait for an update or something… 📝 9d37f4af…

Can I pet dat dawg? #wholesome #memestr #dogstr

#memestr #CanIPetThatDawg #Netherlands #Dutch #tulips #nft #shitcoins #Bitcoin 📝 bf6178ba…

Went to my favorite deli for my favorite sandwich but this time I was smart. I knew I was hungry and didn’t want to eat my favorite sandwich right away so I ordered 6 of my 2nd and 3rd favorite sandwiches and ate them first, now I’m not hungry and I still have my favorite sandwich for later.

Whole coiner is not a flex A billions sats is a flex

Feds have had this for years btw Sometimes I read prosecutorial discovery to see how people were caught. You’ll find out a lot in those pages. Put your agent on it 📝 122d418b…

📝 8903e12e…

#ShortTheDollar 📝 457a49a2…

Experts say that wantedmaxxing can make peripheral vision feel expanded, sharpen focus and quicken reaction time

Its actually worse than this Its “iou $100” 📝 9ea34d70…

5 uncomfortable reasons you need to get out of bitcoin RIGHT NOW! 1. Bitcoin is dead. I know that the fake news media has said this hundreds of times before but this time it’s for real. And for this reason you should sell me yours right now, today so you don’t continue to get burned. 2. If you don’t have a cold card or whatever your cold wallet favorite podcast host is shilling for 5-25% off, your coins are going to be stolen today, better to sell them to me, right now BEFORE they get stolen for free…by North Korea or something. 3. Quantum has already killed bitcoin(see #1) I’m from the future that’s how I’m so sure this has happened. If you don’t sell your bitcoin to me RIGHT NOW, North Korea is gonna steal them from you, in collaboration with Alphabet (allegedly). 4. You’re not running a tor node. Because you didn’t do this, every time you look up a transaction chain analytics in collaboration with Mossad & the NSA can pinpoint your location and they know that you didn’t pay the $1.73 capital gaines tax on that bar of @SoapMiner soap. They’re coming for you. Better to sell them to me RIGHT NOW and say you lost them in a boating accident. 5. You didn’t put up $900-several million dollars in mining equipment to get your bitcoin KYC free. This means that when the records from your favorite exchange inevitably get leaked by an AI Agent, everyone will know how much bitcoin you have and what your transaction patterns look like. You know the french dudes that have been robbing all the crypto bros? They’re coming for you next. Better to sell them to me now so when they look at you, they see that you transferred them to me (RIGHT NOW ) and they come wrench attack John Satsman instead of you and your new family. Bonus 6: You forgot to get 5 new passports which goes against flag theory. And we know that if you don’t obey flag theory you’re NGMI. It’s for these reasons that you should get out of bitcoin RIGHT NOW and send them to me.

“Just buy bitcoin… and buy an extra computer for that bitcoin… Oh & you’re fucked it you spend the wrong utxos… and buy a secret anti spy phone… and spend 250k on a new passport or you’re not gonna make it” “Great but Sir I’m just trying to buy a bag of rice” This is the bitcoin marketing in 2026 btw @The Bitcoin Way #wtfstr

You freaks aren’t ready for this conversation… #epstein

Aye @utxo the webmaster 🧑‍💻 just got a wisp shoutout on @RABBIT HOLE RECAP

“Smoke cigarettes Read Ayn Rand & Listen to 40 hours of bitcoin podcasts per week” - @Bugle.News #40HPW🎧 #40hpw #KimJongUn

https://primal.net/e/nevent1qqsvu7sttd9f29acwtrdw5kzg0lea… 📝 a679a0d3…

“The average male is 5 feet 10 inches tall” Frphank: Look there’s a man laying on the floor, he’s only 6 inches tall 📝 19b6e5d7…

#artstr #photostr 📝 3a41be1c…

Maybe I’m petty, but if I’ve shopped at Whole Foods dozens of times and Whole Foods has never shopped at my store, I’m don’t shopping there. It’s not that I don’t buy stuff there it’s that…fuck them. 📝 0fb79961…