They weren't my friends, you are right about that. But why do you say that a good friend would never call another good friend a masochist? Especially if they have a reason to say that. I'm not sure I get how trying to be objectively good or trying to address others' criticisms is focusing on myself any more than say, focusing on following God's word or focusing on being a good friend to Jesus. Could you clarify what you mean by focusing on oneself, or give a more concrete example? And does focusing on some sort of higher purpose mean that I shouldn't argue with people? Even though you say you're focusing on a higher purpose you're still taking the time to argue with me. I appreciate it. Isn't this conversation meaningful? Also, moderation is just an excuse to do bad things by people who don't really understand why they are bad. Interfering with one's internal signaling is always wrong, even if one does it in moderation without getting addicted or experiencing negative health benefits.