I know I shouldn't, with how much time I burn on nothingness. Maybe I do need to relax and waste some time, but I just always feel like I'm doing half what I need to at best. Even when I was working overtime while doing college and sleeping only 4-5 hours a night — an obviously unsustainable standard — even then, I still felt insufficient. It pains me because I know what I'm capable of in bursts, and I want to force myself into that level of output all the time, but it's just not how things work. In my pursuit of perfection, I burn out, every time.