I've been told this metaphor isn't accurate theologically, but it's the best I have: God is like an author who chooses what his characters do, in detail and with absolute authority. But that doesn't infringe on the free will of the characters in the story, who make genuine choices within the parameters of their reality. So God's will is determinative, but life is not deterministic (i.e., our choices really matter). The main idea is that God is both sovereign and transcendent. The mechanics of time, cause and effect, locality, etc. on which our free choices are predicated can't exist without his active involvement. At the same time, God exists outside of time and the rest of created reality, and so does not impose himself on our will, but predicates it. Arminians pit God's will against man's. But the reality is that they are in harmony.