jesus (an alien) built the pyramids, then he was pulling the strings of the pharaohs, when moses got fed up with that shit he led the jews out of egypt straight to israel, after all of that jesus was hiding for approx. 2500 years, then he directed his own birth and convinced the jews that he was the king of israel and he was going to save them from the Roman maffia network (the predecessor of cosa nostra), but what actually happened is that he and the devil (al pacino) founded a startup company called Jesus & Satan Inc. to exploit the jews, that was worth 30 billion silvercoins at the time. (their advocate was keanu reeves who later become Neo but that is another story) But later when the jews found out this whole story they got very angry amd crucified jesus (altho they have never found satan). And now another 2000 years later jesus the alien came back in the avatar of jeffrey epstein. And i think you can guess the rest of the story.