You both have a point...
Many people who come to nostr just want to be social and for it to turn on and "just work"... not to have to do mental gymnastics or listen to an hour-long podcast to learn to set up which relays for this and for that. I WORK by day in tech (websites/server admin) and still find nostr to have a steep learning curve, making on-boarding something that takes weeks if you don't have time to devote and just want some fun (or doomscrolling, no judgement) at the end of the workday.
On the other hand, there are lesser-known but very nice little nostr forks/experimental clients out there that have options to add or browse suggested relays they might not otherwise know about.
https://jumble.social/ does this very nicely.